The mirror of Lena (not her real name)
There is nothing out there,
what is not present inside.
– Goethe –
I had an appointment with Lena. She entered my practice and felt very happy. She said to me: ‘Joyce, thank you for the advice you gave me last time. I’ve tried it and my whole world changed! There is so much joy and peace within me and also in my environment. I found insights about myself. How I created my old world and affirmed it more and more every day. I thought my environment had to change. But it’s me who has to change and makes the difference!’
One week earlier..
(One week earlier Lena, a young woman busy building up her future came to my practice. She said she missed warm connections with people in her environment. They were not nice to her and she thought they didn’t like her.
After listening to her story, I asked her what she was thinking about those people. She discovered that she was usually judging and criticizing them.
Then I asked; were you ever connected from heart to heart with them. And she said: ‘No! These are not my kind of people.’
I told her she was looking at the world from the perspective of separateness. But we are not separate. We are interconnected with our environment. Even with mountains, plants and animals. With our thoughts, words and acts we create our own world.
What you see on the outside is a reflection of what’s happening inside yourself. If you become aware of what’s happening in your inside world, then you know what you can change in yourself to create a new outside world.
She asked me; ‘how do I do that? Because I know this situation doesn’t make me or my environment happy.’
I told her, the next time she meets people she is not connected with, she should empty her head, look through her heart and make heart to heart connection with them.
She asked; ‘But how can I make a connection? The relationship is so bad after all these years.’
I said; It’s very easy. Just ask; how are you doing? That was our last conversation.)
Today, Lena came back to relate her experience. She was convinced she was the only one who could create her own world. She told me, she did exactly what I told her to do. This time, with a beating heart. Lena went to the people she had avoided for so long, and asked them how they were doing.
The people she approached started to tell their stories about how they were doing. Within a few minutes they had a nice open conversation and there was connection from both sides. They seemed to be very nice people. And Lena enjoyed the evening with them.
The most important were the insights she got about herself;
She discovered that she was very insecure. The criticism and thoughts about other people were a way to protect her insecurity and to hide her own vulnerability.
Dr. Joyce Z. Wazirali