If you want to break through obstructive patterns in life
authenticity, freedom, happiness, love,
strength, peace, potential and energy.
Every person, organization or system (partners, team, family) experiences moments of unexpected obstacles and counterflow. It often occurs in the form of repetitive patterns or dynamics. As; difficulty taking your place, being left out, desire to belong, great sense of responsibility, difficulty asking for or receiving help, need for appreciation, feeling of emptiness, lack of support, always standing alone, rejection, not seen – not heard – not understood, not moving forward, etc ..
This has a major impact on the health, happiness and peace of people, organizations and systems.
The origin of these dynamics lies in traumatic events in the past (from previous generations). They are hidden powers that you cannot comprehend or cannot solve by talking about, but experience and feel.
With System Dynamic Constellations you create from your inner image a psychological landscape of the aspects that play a role in the pattern you encounter. The hidden forces that cause the dynamics are revealed and broken through, allowing the person, organization or system to heal and transform.
If “something” moves you! Family constellations invite people who wants to find a new access road to a fulfilled and happy life. Many people have the experience that, despite intense work on themselves, they encounter the same problems over and over again. Very often they do not know why. They are entangled in patterns that not only comes from the person themselves, but are taken over unconsciously from their family. Family constellations make clear what the unconscious patterns are that are transmitted through their family. They offer insights on a very deep level that help to change our lives positively.
The family constellation method is used by many therapists in countries around the world in various fields of psychology and health. Particularly in Germany, the work has been taken a great spread and it is also applied to various psychological problems, serious illness and relationship problems.
What is it?
We are all born in a family. We have grandparents, a father, mother and (possibly) brothers and sisters. When we leave the parental home, we start a family. This together forms our family system. You can see a family as a mobilé. Everyone feels a deep connection with his/ her system. If the balance is disturbed somewhere in the mobilé, then unconsciously another reaction is immediately following by someone within the system to restore the balance by means of certain behaviors and/ or feelings that can not be explained. Every human being has this right to;
1) Recognition of his place;
for example: a first child dies shortly after birth. The second child is born and gets the same name as the first child. Automatically the second child is seen as a substitute for the first and they both get no recognition of their own place.
2) The correct order;
for example: due to circumstances (a parent has died young) children take over a parent role. They have lost their child position. Once grown up, it prevents them from being fully engaged as a partner or parent. They are in their past and lack the power of the now.
3) Balance between giving and receiving;
for example: if within one marriage or relationship one partner gives more than he/ she takes from the other partner. Exception is the love between parents and children. Parents give their love to their children and their children pass it on to their own children.
Causes of disruption within the family system include:
Undesirable birth, miscarriage, abortion, missing, denial, exclusion of family members, secrets, emigration, adoption, divorce, alcohol and/ or drug addiction, war and other extreme event, death of a loved one, death in childbirth, inheritance, children taking care of their parents at young age, children giving love to their receiving parents, stay in a boardingschool or hospital.
This creates behaviors and patterns such as:
– Feeling abandoned, closing off from one’s environment
– Feeling neglected, wanting to belong somewhere
– Difficult to find your place where you belong, looking for a own place or never feeling home
– Feel smaller than others, looking up to other people
– Feel bigger than others, presenting themselves better than others
– Feeling responsible for everyone, always ready to help others or not daring to say no
– Have no courage to ask for help, not daring to ask for help
– Sadness, crying quickly
– Withdrawing from society, not showing up at an appointment
– Feeling emptiness inside, seeking appreciation and confirmation from others or get addicted
– A feeling of not being loved, always asking or wanting love from others
– Anxiety in many forms, afraid of some people or situations
– Always in the head and thinking a lot, thinking and talking a lot
– Can’t get in touch with feelings, lost connection with own feelings or missing empathy
– Medically inexplicable physical complaints, complaining a lot about inexplicable pain
The core of the method is the crafting of the family system with the help of substitutes. A family constellation starts with a client’s request: this question remains guiding during the constellation. The method uses facts: facts from the families of both parents, the situation in which one was born and grew up and the current life situation. First the question of the client is clarified and from there the supervisor chooses who or what is being drawn up. The client then sets up alternates from the group of participants for himself and his/ her family members. Without thinking and according to a personal inner image, a psychological landscape is created. The special feature of this method is that the established substitutes, at the place assigned to them by the client, have access to the same feelings, forces and relationships as those they represent. This reveals the hidden dynamics of the entanglement. Under guidance, a situation unfolds whereby the constellation starts to move and everyone (re)finds his/ her right place within the system. By giving words to the new image, a different experience arises: sometimes acceptance with what it is like grows, often a new entry can be found to bring personal difficulties to a ‘solution’.
For whom and when can constellations work?
When life goals seem more and more difficult to reach, there is a feeling ‘I have no place, I do not belong anywhere, nobody likes me’ and such existenial questions, are constantly involved in conflict situations, with sincere interest in deep life issues, chronic physical complaints, psychological and emotional disorders, including eating disorders, depression, anxiety and a number of psychiatric syndromes.
What can you achieve with that?
For the participants there are several effects: The elaboration of (a part of) the entanglement within the own family can make the healing flow of love tangible again that lies at the base of life. Seeing and experiencing the arrangements of fellow group members is an enriching and far-reaching experience due to the expanding insight into the functioning of family systems. As a substitute in an arrangement one experiences feelings and body sensation from a totally different context, whereby the space for own feelings and experiences is increased.
How did it begin?
Bert Hellinger was born in Germany in 1925. He studied philosophy, theology and pedagogy. He was a priest, headmaster and missionary in South Africa. During the subsequent studies, he discovered that some events continue to work in family relationship systems for generations. He discovered the importance of order, hidden loyalties and the need for balance between giving and receiving in the family. Bert Hellinger became increasingly clear that important events in the family influence the functioning and well-being of other family members.
Forms of family constellations:
Individually (face to face or online) or with a group.